so close...

biometrics done today! so glad we got there early as we were the first 3:00 appointments called up and there were quite a few people waiting. some noteworthy items:

• the policewoman called danny "old macdonald"
• the woman in charge was easy to spot as she was ever so slightly adjusting the picture frames on the walls as effortlessly as someone walking through her own home would do out of habit
• danny's fingerprint taker was incredibly confused that he had no alien number
• for a government run facility, i was pleasantly surprised by the kind, courteous, professional, and helpful staff... maybe that says more about me than them; i'm undecided on that

and now we wait for that last piece of paper that will complete our dossier and allow us to mail it to holt and be put on the official waiting list for a referral. keeping our fingers crossed that the approval happens quickly and we get that paper soon!

busy busy busy...

there is never a dull moment in our house...

cayden finished his t-ball season! those 2-3 games per week were exhausting, but he had a blast and it was so fun to watch his skills and confidence grow with each game. way to go, little bug...

school is out and summer vacation begins! due to an unfortunate incident on the last day of school that resulted in cayden being left out of a special trip to get icees and pizza (grrrr i say to the daycare bus driver that promised she'd wait for him and then didn't) cayden has been wanting to get up at 6:04 and be at daycare when it opens at 6:30. the twinkle in his eyes as he starts the day excited to beat all his friends to daycare almost makes up for the lost 56 minutes of sleep... almost. the fact that he feels confident he won't miss anything again... well, that definitely makes up for the loss of sleep.

we've let the teens slack off for the first week out of school, but time for summer writing and projects! i know they secretly adore the writing assignments i give them, because they are both great writers... the chores on the other hand, i'm certain they feel they can do without.

we actually got some sunshine recently and while the teens kept cool inside doing puzzles (kiya) and magic games (khalid), cayden and his friend ian enjoyed some outside time with me!

 oh, and also the trampoline and sprinkler...

i think we're on the hook to set up the big trampoline and enclosure this weekend... 

happy birthday to my awesome husband today! i made him this gift...

there are probably 17 things i will do differently next time, but it was made with a lot of love for the best guy i know. i am really happy with the way the indigo stain turned out, and i definitely married the right guy because he knew all the references and genuinely loved it.

and finally, in adoption world, we're ever so close to completing our dossier... biometrics on june 21st, so not too much longer to wait. of course then the real waiting begins, but i will take real waiting over paper chasing any day! keep us in your thoughts that we will get through biometrics and have only a short time to wait for approval and our i-171h!

june is going to be my new favorite month...

...birthdays, camping, break from school, and my new personal favorite: june 21st biometrics appointment! 

i have a few hopes that we can actually get our dossier turned in sometime in july now. which would be lovely just to get it out of our hands and officially get on the waiting list for a child. fingers crossed for a summer release of paperwork and time to relax.

also, this *amazing* drawing was done by our awesome 14 year old. he started by coloring the entire sheet with charcoal and then erasing to create the image. oh how i love george and yes, this will be framed and displayed in our house in a most prominent location! *ignore the crummy cell phone pic where i cut off the top of the image*

i600a mailed

we had been waiting on our final approved homestudy for what seemed like forever... obviously it was more like nearly a month, but that can feel like forever. last night when we got home we were so excited to see that our homestudy was approved on may 10th, and we had 4 official copies in the mail! 

homestudy approval... done. 
i-600a application and fees... done.
waiting again... in process.

my clever girl...

k&k are making an abc book for their future sibling... kiya is writing the words and khalid is illustrating... kiya's got A through T done. i love it so far! (i'll have to scan the drawings later)

stuff i like...

• our social worker... she's real. and she's also had pink and blue hair before, so she gets that whole define yourself with color thing i have running through my veins.
• the fact that my husband can look at me and know when my next brow waxing appointment is... he totally pays attention to all the little details that make up me. it's such a difference from the invisible girl i used to be, and i love him for seeing me.
• combing through khalid's hair... feels like love. taking the time to moisturize his hair and work through it so it stays healthy and looks good is well worth the time and effort. kids really do grow up way too fast, and soon enough i'll be missing those curls.
• my d20 earrings that are awesomesauce... i saw them spinning today in a mirror i was passing and they mesmerized me right on the spot.
• talking to kiya about middle school woes and realizing that i haven't forgotten what it was like to be a teenager... i believe this is what enables me to have realistic expectations of teens. i hope i never forget what it was like to have all that angst, now that i can use my powers for good.
• "M" and his sweet little face with big brown eyes... i see him whenever i'm sitting at my desk and he makes my heart smile.
• getting a massage every other week with my husband... thank goodness for people with skills to work out my sore muscles. SRSLY. what makes a person want to learn this craft and make a living touching others (i personally shudder at the very idea) i do not know, but these people are more amazing than my homemade candy bars.
• cayden's wild imagination that provides me with non-stop entertainment... whether we're robbing honey bear's bank, disguising ourselves to fool the entire world ('cause we are so good at it), making our own scary movie, tricking papa with mice and melty cheese bagels, or plotting to steal pillows from each other, i am never bored.
• the fact that i am getting a sit/stand office setup to help with my back pain... this is such a sweet sweet victory for me. i purposely (after much prodding and poking and building up and a bit of shoving by the husband and co-worker) went out of my comfort zone to request this much needed accommodation from my manager. i didn't shrink back and silence myself when the answer was no, i went to my doctor, got a prescription and BAM! that sweet setup is in the works as we speak. i can't wait. honestly. i'm smiling just thinking about it.
• my doctor... she is the absolute best. and i never thought i'd hear her say "your employer can kiss my hairy butt..." but oh yes, it was quite a delight i tell you. she rocks. hardcore.
• in a weird way, my misaligned pelvis... because honestly, at least i know why i have constant back pain now. and i can do something about it. so yay for answers and physical therapy.
• making new friends with people i've met on the internetz... at first glance we've simply got adoption in common, but as time goes on i find out more about these people and i'm amazed at all the things we share. it feels good to give and receive support with others on the adoption journey, because the road is long and if you haven't started down that road, you don't feel all the bumps that accompany each small step (which actually makes the tiny steps feel monumental).
• friends that offer to watch the kiddos so the husband and i can have a date night... i love to hold his hand and look into those pretty blue eyes of his. he's got a look that's just for me, and he gives it to me often, but on date night it never leaves his face. it makes him even more attractive to me... this is how the animal kingdom works too. plus colors. and you know how i feel about colors.
• 20% off on yarn and knitting needles... yes, this excites me. i will turn on that billy joel 4 disc boxed set and knit all night if i feel like it.
• spending time with "A"... i want the world for her. she reminds me of me, except she might be stronger. she has a big heart, she's full of life and she deserves only good things. i love that i get to be a part of her life and family. i'm thankful for the time we spend together and i will continue to devote my time to offer her as many opportunities as i can, and show her that she is loved and valued, and i feel honored to do so.
• my younger brother... he was my family when we lost everything and everyone else. he would do anything for me, as i would for him. he still thinks i'm cool, even when i feel like a loser. we have matching ink. 'nough said.
• dark chocolate covered almonds... how could i get through my worst days without them? you don't even know. neither do i.

moments of grace...

...i have them sometimes.

like when i let go of my need to think about all the questions that could ever be asked in a home study and just roll with it. i stop worrying about how i sound and just be me, and surprisingly the conversation flows and the social worker understands exactly what i'm talking about. pretty soon i don't feel like i'm sitting there being judged, instead i'm connecting with someone who is in a great position to help our family every step of the way. we finish and somehow find ourselves talking about hair. not braiding and beading, or different styles for kids. our own hair. and how it's such a huge part of our identity and can make or break our self esteem on any given day. fast forward another week to when kiya is in her room typing and the boys are power ranger-ing it up in the living room as the knock arrives at our door. whoah! the social worker and i have almost the identical haircut. say what? not only that, she has nearly the same curls that i do... we are cracking up laughing, because on top of all that, we both have a drastically different color than when we last saw each other. she likes the same music we do. she loved the night pirates in the nursery. she adored our gorgeous children (or at least pretended to). she talked to our children with ease and moved through our house like an old friend come over to explore. as i walked her out and thanked her, i didn't think twice about giving her a "drive safe!" call out usually reserved for close friends and family.

like when i strike up a conversation with brandon's mom at the t-ball game because our boys love each other and we adore our boys and so we have oh so much to talk about already. and i am beyond excited to watch my little guy, my sweet bug, get in there and hustle after the ball and throw it to first base, just like he should. and i can't believe this 7 year old that struts around the bases is the same little guy that once hit himself until he bled, the same little guy that went to early intervention pre-school and had an aide in kindergarten and still has an iep and loads of sensory issues. and i was so overcome with joy that i told this woman all about my sweet little bug and how far he's come, and i didn't think about whether or not she wanted to hear it. because usually that's what i do. i know that people don't like to hear about those things, partly because they don't know what to say, and so i'll usually keep that to myself. but yesterday i was so overjoyed that it all came tumbling out, and at the end of the game we picked up our boys and gave them hugs and talked about how we'll have many more great conversations in the games to come.

like when i see an awesome opportunity to put my craftiness to good use! i am *so* excited to be making blankets to support http://www.fovc.org/... check it out. it is a wonderful opportunity for me to pour some love into handmade blankets for children in rural ethiopia. i tried to see if "M" is in a village close to where they are going on the next trip, but he is not. there will be more trips, so maybe in the future i can make "M" a blanket... i would love that more than anything right now, for him to get a gift of warmth and from a family across the world who loves him. anyway, i've committed to make 10 blankets, and i've made 3 so far. i will take pictures of them before i send them off, and maybe i can convince lory to get a few pictures of the recipients of my blankets when they are delivered... i'm keeping my fingers crossed for that anyway.

i bet you thought i was going to go on... nope. i really don't have these moments all that often, and so there is no long list. just the three. that'll have to do.