one year...

...on the waiting list. i realize things change and that being told your process and adoption will be working towards one timeline cannot always hold true, especially with everything going on in the world.

i am going to stop the public countdown though. or "countup", whatever the case may be. it's been a long time, longer than we planned or thought it would be. i need a break from counting.

in the mail not too long ago...

...i received an update from our adoption agency offering a dual process adoption, or switching completely away from the ethiopia program in favor of another program. i'm not sure how i feel about that.

11 months...

'nough said

10 months...

9 months...

because this life matters

indeed it does! this woman is inspiring, and through that inspiration she is helping to shape the lives of people she doesn't even know personally... simply amazing. beyond that, she is now going to bring home this beautiful child, so severely neglected and abandoned. i have seen how lives are transformed through love and nurturing, and i can't wait to see this girl flourish once home. if you are so moved to help her bring her daughter home after reading her post, please do so!
http://www.nogreaterjoymom.com/2012/04/because-this-life-matters.html

8 months...

happy birthday, sweet bug...

8 years ago cayden came yowling into the world 10 ½ weeks early… and look at him now

7 months...

that fine line...

you know the one... it falls between childhood and the responsibility filled adult world. it brings the angst and awkwardness that can make a teenager feel uncomfortable in their own skin. i remember those teenage years quite vividly. they were not attractive years for me, on many levels. tonight i danced with my 15 year old son, standing on his toes while we hummed a goofy tune. at one point he started to lean into me and sniffed me. oddly enough it reminded me of the bear in the big blue house. before i could ask why in the world he was sniffing me, he said "you smell like mom". i asked him what "mom" smells like. without hesitation, his reply was "safety". that fine line is magical, allowing teenagers to hold on to pieces of childhood and the result is something simple and lovely.

Support FOVC!

FOVC remains one of my favorite charities because of the amazing work they do. my dear friend tamara lives and breathes FOVC in her daily life, and i must say FOVC is never far from my mind either. tamara is holding another fundraiser, with a very modest goal... raise $2500 to impact and change the lives of 10 widows that continue to suffer in the famine that is still going on. the news isn't reporting about the famine anymore, but it is still there and people are still dying. tamara's goal is modest, she's asking for $25 donations. can you spare $25 and donate it to FOVC to help these widows that are struggling? count me in, i'm sending my check today. click here to donate to FOVC: http://www.acharityproject.com/f/FOVCcrops.


here's the text from tamara's page... please join me in supporting FOVC!

Rockin' My World

Do you remember my friend, Boltase?

I wrote about her on my blog in a post titled Starvation is Real. She was one of my crops widows who was very near death. Tonight, I was able to chat with Desalegn, the guy who leads FOVC in Ethiopia. He shared that Boltase is doing well but has a shortage of food. That first part is music to my ears.

The second part is rocking my world. It's not like Boltase is the only one who has a shortage of food. Did you know the famine is still destroying lives in Southern Ethiopia? Yeah, I haven't been very good at sharing that. The famine was expected to be 4 months. And you know what, that 4 months is up but the famine isn't.

Right now, people should be planting maize for this next crop season. Only problem is that the rains still aren't coming. And my ladies, along with everyone else, aren't planting crops without water to get them to germinate. They are waiting for rain. For some of those ladies, I know they are praying for rain. Would you be willing to join them? Your donations of dollars are impacting these ladies. With the money you've given, FOVC is able to give widows seeds to plant. The problem is that it still needs to rain. A small amount of rain is needed to plant the crops. But it will be needed to keep the crop growing.

When I was chatting with Desalegn earlier he said "Sometimes I become sad when I see widows and children and some elders are crying for food and walking here and there to find food". That's heart breaking. I was there. I met those ladies and their children. I met the model farmer and his wife. They are all suffering. There is much greater need than the little bit I saw. Will you join me in partnering with FOVC?

I put this little fundraiser together because I care. Because I've been there and seen the need up close. Because I know the impact that your dollars make when I spend my vacation and money to travel to Ethiopia and train these widows. I would love to widen the circle of influence. I'd love for you to join me in raising $2,500 in the next few weeks to impact and change the lives of 10 widows. Can you give $25? Would you share this with at least 9 friends who will also give $25 and together you can sponsor one widow? Facebook, tweet, email, blog... whatever it takes. Join hands with your co-workers, classmates, siblings, girlfriends for real, sustainable, change. I promise, you won't be disappointed.

Donate here http://www.acharityproject.com/f/FOVCcrops 

6 months...

things i adore...

james spader
*all* my nieces and nephews... they really are gems
eggnog ice-cream from baskin robbins
long talks with the dude
singing at the top of my lungs
kids that learn new ways to express frustration
my rocking chair
the idea that one day i will take james spader with me wherever i go
crafting for a cause
wednesday date nights
believing i'm a superstar
the fact that my father-in-law has the same twinkle in his eyes that my dude does
making someone's dreams come true
skateboarding
did i mention james spader?

from one child to another...

our daughter is super sweet... as a gift for us this year, she wrote this:

we wait and wait and wait.
while we wait mommy starts to paint.
and daddy tapes.
and the kids play games.
but we still wait and wait and wait.
we wait to hear your laugh,
and we wait to see your smile,
we wait to hold you in our arms and make it all worthwhile.
we wait to see your tiny toes,
and wait to tag your little nose.
we wait to give you hugs that never end,
and to lay gentle kisses upon your head.
and of all the things we wait for,
you certainly are the best,
so for now, we wait and wait and wait.

isn't it funny how kids just get it sometimes...

5 months...

from our family to yours...

nursery update in progress...

i think i've mentioned i'm not a very patient person. my husband really wants to relax while i have this seemingly never ending list of things to fill my time with... top of the list for awhile has been a nursery update. don't get me wrong, i love the night pirates. if you haven't read this awesome book to your kids, you totally should. when we dreamed of a finn or a sawyer in our nursery, we saw night pirates... it was fun and sweet and cute. it's still fun and sweet and cute, but it no longer feels quite right for our future lovebug and so while we aren't finished yet, i'll give you a sneak peek...

the space is not huge by any stretch of the imagination, but it's cozy and close, while still giving us some privacy (privacy? yeah we still maintain a smidge of that) and we love it. this was cay's room for four years, and i'll admit that when he moved out to a "real bedroom", i totally missed him. i'm also that hippie tree hugger mom that co-slept with each child, uses only cloth diapers (fuzzi bunz for the win!) and makes my own baby food... live and let live i say (i often ponder how incredibly powerful those six little words are).

first the before photos:

due to the small space, we thought, hey man, let's brighten this up... and so i dreamed up this lovely little idea and convinced the dude to go to lowes with me for picking out colors. this dude who used to think he wasn't creative at all is actually a huge help in the color area. a lot of dollars in paint later, and we headed home to make my vision a reality. we aren't done yet. i mentioned that, right? ok, we aren't done yet, but we're getting there... and i am *loving* how it is turning out! here are some photos...

first we needed a blank slate to start over (never mind that crib we refused to take apart and move out):

 then we started with winter haven, which is the prettiest off white i've ever seen, with just a touch of purple in it, and japanese koi for the lower half (because it is oh so perfect to complete my master plan!):

i worked into the wee hours of the morning, and then was up again painting after coffee and a few wrestling rounds with cay (his new fave game... crazy cayden wrestles maniacal mommy and somehow he always wins). as you can see, i had no time for snazzing myself up, that's just how i roll:

next comes the field and awesome tree... and i added a few leaves at the base of the tree:

so me being me, i hated the leaves at the base of the tree... ditch those and add river and giraffe:

my favorite taper of all time... the one and only dude that will do anything for me:

that tape? that was nothing... wait till you see what i have in store next:

those eyes up there? they say i love you, even though what follows can surely be considered some form of torture:

the very beginning, and just think, you are here to witness it:

have i mentioned i love hexagons? no? well... yeah:

it is turning out just how i pictured it in my head:

oh, and here's our template... i made a perfect hexagon with a compass on the back of a cheerios box:

the process... it involves me cutting tape, the dude taping the wall, and then i go in and fill in any gaps or holes, smooth and push down all the tape again (because it's not as sticky as we think it should be):

then i paint:

then i pull off all the tape, knowing that i have to go fill in those little hexagon tops oh so perfectly, but that's fine... i have tons of time while i wait:

it's coming along... i'm going to add another tree on the other side of the river, add elephants and hippos, and touch up all my current missing spots:

oh, and here's my cliff with a lion:

 i still need to make my way around several other walls, but i'm getting closer. it feels bright and fresh and warm. it feels a bit like love...

4 months...

nada

i haven't posted much. there isn't much to post about adoption. we are in waiting mode. the wait is longer than anticipated. we were told 12-18 months from the time we submitted our application to the time we'd be bringing a child home. it isn't going to be anywhere near that time. our agency has completely given up on timelines at this point, and the information they have for us is minimal at best. adoption isn't supposed to be easy; i get that. we're in it for the long haul, and we've surrendered our hearts to the unknown, which is insanely difficult. adoption is born from loss; i get that too. we absolutely want to know without a doubt that any child we adopt is truly in need of a home and everything is ethical and legitimate. that doesn't mean it isn't hard. that doesn't mean the seemingly endless wait comes with a light at the end of the tunnel. it may not, after all. so that's why i haven't really posted much. it is however, no excuse for not posting about our fantastic october fun times. i'll get to that soon. the only excuse i can offer is a crazy busy work schedule and tons of busy kid stuff. one of these days i'll have a spare minute...

boo